 Notice. New forum software under development. It's going to miss a few functions and look a bit ugly for a while, but I'm working on it full time now as the old forum was too unstable. Couple days, all good. If you notice any issues, please contact me. |
Forum Index : Microcontroller and PC projects : Murphy's Law et al...
| Author | Message | ||||
| BrianP Senior Member  Joined: 30/03/2017 Location: AustraliaPosts: 292 |
Hi all - just had to share this (formatting leaves something to be desired...)  MURPHY'S LAWS AND OTHER OBSERVATIONS MURPHY'S LAWS 1.IF ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG, IT WILL. 2.IF THERE IS A POSSIBILITY OF SEVERAL THINGS GOING WRONG, THE ONE THAT WILL CAUSE THE MOST DAMAGE WILL BE THE FIRST ONE TO GO WRONG. 3.IF ANYTHING JUST CANNOT GO WRONG, IT WILL ANYWAY. 4.IF YOU PERCEIVE THAT THERE ARE FOUR POSSIBLE WAYS IN WHICH SOMETHING CAN GO WRONG, AND CIRCUMVENT THESE, THEN A FIFTH WAY, UNPREPARED FOR, WILL PROMPTLY DEVELOP. 5.LEFT TO THEMSELVES, THINGS TEND TO GO FROM BAD TO WORSE. 6.IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING. 7.NATURE ALWAYS SIDES WITH THE HIDDEN FLAW. 8.MOTHER NATURE IS A BITCH. O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAWS MURPHY WAS AN OPTIMIST. GINSBERG'S THEOREMS 1.YOU CAN'T WIN. 2.YOU CAN'T BREAK EVEN. 3.YOU CAN'T EVEN QUIT THE GAME. FORSYTH'S SECOND COROLLARY TO MURPHY'S LAWS JUST WHEN YOU SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, THE ROOF CAVES IN. WEILER'S LAW NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE MAN WHO DOESN'T HAVE TO DO IT HIMSELF. THE LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING 1.ANY GIVEN PROGRAM, WHEN RUNNING, IS OBSOLETE. 2.ANY GIVEN PROGRAM COSTS MORE AND TAKES LONGER EACH TIME IT IS RUN. 3.IF A PROGRAM IS USEFUL, IT WILL HAVE TO BE CHANGED. 4.IF A PROGRAM IS USELESS, IT WILL HAVE TO BE DOCUMENTED. 5.ANY GIVEN PROGRAM WILL EXPAND TO FILL ALL THE AVAILABLE MEMORY. 6.THE VALUE OF A PROGRAM IS INVERSELY PROPORTIONAL TO THE WEIGHT OF ITS OUTPUT. 7.PROGRAM COMPLEXITY GROWS UNTIL IT EXCEEDS THE CAPABILITY OF THE PROGRAMMER WHO MUST MAINTAIN IT. PIERCE'S LAW IN ANY COMPUTER SYSTEM, THE MACHINE WILL ALWAYS MISINTERPRET, MISCONSTRUE, MISPRINT, OR NOT EVALUATE ANY MATH OR SUBROUTINES OR FAIL TO PRINT ANY OUTPUT ON AT LEAST THE FIRST RUN THROUGH. COROLLARY TO PIERCE'S LAW WHEN A COMPILER ACCEPTS A PROGRAM WITHOUT ERROR ON THE FIRST RUN, THE PROGRAM WILL NOT YIELD THE DESIRED OUTPUT. ADDITIONS TO MURPHY'S LAWS IN NATURE, NOTHING IS EVER RIGHT. THEREFORE,IF EVERYTHING IS GOING RIGHT... SOMETHING IS WRONG. BROOK'S LAW IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRANSFORM YOUR DATA SET! GROSCH'S LAW COMPUTING POWER INCREASES AS THE SQUARE OF THE COST. GOLUB'S LAWS OF COMPUTERDOM 1.FUZZY PROJECT OBJECTIVES ARE USED TO AVOID EMBARRASSMENT OF ESTIMATING THE CORRESPONDING COSTS. 2.A CARELESSLY PLANNED PROJECT TAKES THREE TIMES LONGER TO COMPLETE THAN EXPECTED; A CAREFULLY PLANNED PROJECT TAKES ONLY TWICE AS LONG. 3.THE EFFORT REQUIRED TO CORRECT COURSE INCREASES GEOMETRICALLY WITH TIME. 4.PROJECT TEAMS DETEST WEEKLY PROGRESS REPORTING BECAUSE IT SO VIVIDLY MANIFESTS THEIR LACK OF PROGRESS. OSBORN'S LAW VARIABLES WON'T; CONSTANTS AREN'T. GILB'S LAWS OF UNRELIABILITY 1.COMPUTERS ARE UNRELIABLE, BUT HUMANS ARE EVEN MORE UNRELIABLE. 2.ANY SYSTEM THAT DEPENDS UPON HUMAN RELIABILITY IS UNRELIABLE. 3.UNDETECTABLE ERRORS ARE INFINITE IN VARIETY, IN CONTRAST TO DETECTABLE ERRORS, WHICH BY DEFINITION ARE LIMITED. 4.INVESTMENT IN RELIABILITY WILL INCREASE UNTIL IT EXCEEDS THE PROBABLE COST OF ERRORS, OR UNTIL SOMEONE INSISTS ON GETTING SOME USEFUL WORK DONE. LUBARSKY'S LAW OF CYBERNETIC ENTOMOLOGY THERE'S ALWAYS ONE MORE BUG. TROUTMAN'S POSTULATE 1.PROFANITY IS THE ONE LANGUAGE UNDERSTOOD BY ALL PROGRAMMERS. 2.NOT UNTIL A PROGRAM HAS BEEN IN PRODUCTION FOR SIX MONTHS WILL THE MOST HARMFUL ERROR BE DISCOVERED. 3.JOB CONTROL CARDS THAT POSITIVELY CANNOT BE ARRANGED IN IMPROPER ORDER WILL BE. 4.INTERCHANGEABLE TAPES WON'T. 5.IF THE INPUT EDITOR HAS BEEN DESIGNED TO REJECT ALL BAD INPUT, AN INGENIOUS IDIOT WILL DISCOVER A METHOD TO GET BAD DATA PAST IT. 6.IF A TEST INSTALLATION FUNCTIONS PERFECTLY, ALL SUBSEQUENT SYSTEMS WILL MALFUNCTION. WEINBERG'S SECOND LAW IF BUILDERS BUILT BUILDINGS THE WAY PROGRAMMERS WROTE PROGRAMS, THEN THE FIRST WOODPECKER THAT CAME ALONG WOULD DESTROY CIVILIZATION. GUMPERSON'S LAW THE PROBABILITY OF ANYTHING HAPPENING IS IN INVERSE RATIO TO ITS DESIRABILITY. GUMMIDGE'S LAW THE AMOUNT OF EXPERTISE VARIES IN INVERSE RATIO TO THE NUMBER OF STATEMENTS UNDERSTOOD BY THE GENERAL PUBLIC. ZYMURGY'S FIRST LAW OF EVOLVING SYSTEM DYNAMICS ONCE YOU OPEN A CAN OF WORMS, THE ONLY WAY TO RECAN THEM IS TO USE A LARGER CAN (OLD WORMS NEVER DIE, THEY JUST WORM THEIR WAY INTO LARGER CANS). HARVARD'S LAW, AS APPLIED TO COMPUTERS UNDER THE MOST RIGOROUSLY CONTROLLED CONDITIONS OF PRESSURE, TEMPERATURE, VOLUME, HUMIDITY AND OTHER VARIABLES, THE COMPUTER WILL DO AS IT DAMN WELL PLEASES. SATTINGER'S LAW IT WORKS BETTER IF YOU PLUG IT IN. JENKINSON'S LAW IT WON'T WORK. HORNER'S FIVE THUMB POSTULATE EXPERIENCE VARIES DIRECTLY WITH EQUIPMENT RUINED. CHEOP'S LAW NOTHING EVER GETS BUILT ON SCHEDULE OR WITHIN BUDGET. RULE OF ACCURACY WHEN WORKING TOWARD THE SOLUTION OF A PROBLEM, IT ALWAYS HELPS IF YOU KNOW THE ANSWER. ZYMURG'S SEVENTH EXCEPTION TO MURPHY'S LAW WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS. PUDDER'S LAWS 1.ANYTHING THAT BEGINS WELL ENDS BADLY 2.ANYTHING THAT BEGINS BADLY ENDS WORSE. WESTHEIMER'S RULE TO ESTIMATE THE TIME IT TAKES TO DO A TASK: ESTIMATE THE TIME YOU THINK IT SHOULD TAKE, MULTIPLY BY TWO AND CHANGE THE UNIT OF MEASURE TO THE NEXT HIGHEST UNIT. THUS, WE ALLOCATE TWO DAYS FOR A ONE HOUR TASK. STOCKMAYER'S THEOREM IF IT LOOKS EASY, IT'S TOUGH. IF IT LOOKS TOUGH, IT'S DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE. ATWOODS COROLLARY NO BOOKS ARE LOST BY LENDING EXCEPT THOSE YOU PARTICULARLY WANTED TO KEEP. JOHHNSON'S THIRD LAW IF YOU MISS ONE ISSUE OF ANY MAGAZINE, IT WILL BE THE ISSUE THAT CONTAINS THE ARTICLE, STORY OR INSTALLMENT YOU WERE MOST ANXIOUS TO READ. COROLLARY TO JOHNSON'S THIRD LAW ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS EITHER MISSED IT, LOST IT OR THREW IT OUT. HARPER'S MAGAZINE LAW YOU NEVER FIND THE ARTICLE UNTIL YOU REPLACE IT. BROOKE'S LAW ADDING MANPOWER TO A LATE SOFTWARE MAKES IT LATER. FINAGLE'S FOURTH LAW ONCE A JOB IS FOULED UP, ANYTHING DONE TO IMPROVE IT WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE. FEATHERKILE'S RULE WHATEVER YOU DID, THAT'S WHAT YOU PLANNED. FLAP'S LAW ANY INANIMATE OBJECT, REGARDLESS OF ITS POSITION, CONFIGURATION OR PURPOSE, MAY BE EXPECTED TO PERFORM AT ANY TIME IN A TOTALLY UNEXPECTED MANNER FOR REASONS THAT ARE EITHER ENTIRELY OBSCURE OR ELSE COMPLETELY MYSTERIOUS. |
||||
SimpleSafeName Guru  Joined: 28/07/2019 Location: United StatesPosts: 351 |
One of Murphy's other laws: If there is a fifty-fifty chance of it working, ninety percent of the time it won't. |
||||
| Warpspeed Guru Joined: 09/08/2007 Location: AustraliaPosts: 4406 |
I am really glad I never studied law. Cheers, Tony. |
||||
CaptainBoing Guru Joined: 07/09/2016 Location: United KingdomPosts: 2171 |
excellent. I have been collecting these for years. There is some cross-over with my own collection but I feel an "augment" coming on  here's the ones I have - I particularly like the law of the "too-solid goof" and "Cutler Webster's Law" http://www.logitel.co.uk/laws.asp Edited 2020-02-27 16:34 by CaptainBoing |
||||
| lizby Guru Joined: 17/05/2016 Location: United StatesPosts: 3470 |
>GROSCH'S LAW >COMPUTING POWER INCREASES AS THE SQUARE OF THE COST. Perhaps true at any given time, but over the course of the last 45 or so years, the opposite of the truth. BENSON'S LAW OF PROGRAM DEVELOPMENT Any development project which takes more than 2 weeks takes an infinite amount of time. Cap'n: I like Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it This seems to me to apply particularly in the grocery store or market, though it also has broad general applicability. Edited 2020-02-28 00:13 by lizby PicoMite, Armmite F4, SensorKits, MMBasic Hardware, Games, etc. on fruitoftheshed |
||||
CircuitGizmos Guru Joined: 08/09/2011 Location: United StatesPosts: 1427 |
I prefer COLE's LAW Micromites and Maximites! - Beginning Maximite |
||||
| bigfix Senior Member Joined: 20/02/2014 Location: AustriaPosts: 129 |
An old Collection from 2009 This was actually in the SW install of some rather questionable SW... There was an even larger one in the same kit - I attach as zip Funny_and_wisdom_quotes.zip file No good deed goes unpunished Leakproof seals - will Self starters - will not Interchangeable parts - won't There is always one more bug Nature is a mother Don't mess with Mrs. Murphy! 90% of everything is crud If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong All warranties expire upon payment of invoice Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit Never eat prunes when you are famished Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it A short cut is the longest distance between two points You will always find something in the last place you look The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper No one's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session The other line always moves faster In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10> fuse by blowing it first If it jams - force it, if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center The repaiman will never have seen a model quite like yours before When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth Everybody should believe in something - I believe I'll have another drink Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over When in doubt, mumble, when in trouble, delegate Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead Murphy's Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules Everything east of the San Andreas Fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean Nature always sides with the hidden flaw The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train Celibacy is not hereditary Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression (Freudian psychology) Never play leapfrog with a unicorn A Smith & Wesson beats four aces If everything seems to be going well, you obviosly don't know what the hell is going on If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault In case of doubt, make it sound convincing Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy. Friendly fire ain't. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short. Incoming fire has the right of way. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss. Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. Nothing is as easy as it looks. Everything takes longer than you think. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. Mother nature is a bitch. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first. Every solution breeds new problems. Enough research will tend to support your theory. The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance. Things get worse under pressure. Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse. Everything goes wrong all at once. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. If we lose much by having things go wrong, take all possible care. If we have nothing to lose by change, relax. If we have everything to gain by change, relax. If it doesn't matter, it does not matter. You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition. Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm. The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure. All great discoveries are made by mistake. Always draw your curves, then plot your reading. Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. All's well that ends. A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. The first myth of management is that it exists. A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection. New systems generate new problems. To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything. Any given program, when running, is obsolete. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make. Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work. Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book. The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman. To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most. After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done. Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development. A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works. If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number. Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable. Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File." Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases. If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious. The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order. In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totalled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches. All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door. The only perfect science is hind-sight. Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling. If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist. If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. When all else fails, read the instructions. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Everything that goes up must come down. Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner. Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way. Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it. The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management. |
||||
| BrianP Senior Member Joined: 30/03/2017 Location: AustraliaPosts: 292 |
I did open a can of worms didn't I...  |
||||
| BrianP Senior Member Joined: 30/03/2017 Location: AustraliaPosts: 292 |
Just got this after posting... Fatal error: Uncaught PDOException: SQLSTATE[42000]: Syntax error or access violation: 1064 You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near 's Law et al...','Hi SimpleSafeName,<br/><br/>A message has been posted in the fo' at line 1 in C:\inetpub\wwwroot2\TheBackShed\forum\PostMessage.php:77 Stack trace: #0 C:\inetpub\wwwroot2\TheBackShed\forum\PostMessage.php(77): PDO->exec('insert into ema...') #1 {main} thrown in C:\inetpub\wwwroot2\TheBackShed\forum\PostMessage.php on line 77 |
||||
 Print this page |
 |
The Back Shed's forum code is written, and hosted, in Australia. | © JAQ Software 2025 |
