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Forum Index : Microcontroller and PC projects : A little humour for the forum....
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Grogster Admin Group  Joined: 31/12/2012 Location: New ZealandPosts: 9610 |
Hi all - I know this is not normal practise, what with wanting to keep the forums technical, but I was emailed this today and had to post it. Some of you no-doubt will have seen this before, but I had not, and it had me rolling on the floor.  [Quote=My Email] The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius! The query: Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate The response (that came weeks later out of the blue): Dear Desperate, First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0. Good Luck [/Quote] "We recommend Cooking 3.0" would be considered a little sexist these days, but to avoid having to edit it, I post it as it was sent to me, and remember that this is all very much in jest..... Smoke makes things work. When the smoke gets out, it stops! |
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| Paul_L Guru  Joined: 03/03/2016 Location: United StatesPosts: 769 |
@Grogster I'm glad to see that the heavy work load caused by the lightning strike has apparently abated since you're poking around in very old joke books. When I last saw this thing tech support's recommendation was to install black lacy negligee 15.0. |
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| Grogster Admin Group Joined: 31/12/2012 Location: New ZealandPosts: 9610 |
Yep, 99% of the lightning stuff all sorted, which is good. Bloody Hell, we are coming up on ONE YEAR since the strike - amazing.(19th October) Smoke makes things work. When the smoke gets out, it stops! |
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CaptainBoing Guru Joined: 07/09/2016 Location: United KingdomPosts: 2170 |
just in time for this years storm season   |
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| isochronic Guru Joined: 21/01/2012 Location: AustraliaPosts: 689 |
 Right on ! Just the cure for some tech-fatigue ! |
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TassyJim Guru Joined: 07/08/2011 Location: AustraliaPosts: 6283 |
We're sending another nice bunch your way later today. Jim VK7JH MMedit |
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GoodToGo! Senior Member  Joined: 23/04/2017 Location: AustraliaPosts: 188 |
I look forward to seeing more photos of stuff trashed by a gazillion gigawatts of lightning awesomeness! Don't let us down now Grogster GTG! ...... Don't worry mate, it'll be GoodToGo! |
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| Grogster Admin Group Joined: 31/12/2012 Location: New ZealandPosts: 9610 |
With the greatest respect to all members, get stuffed! One of those per carrer would be ideal. I would prefer not to have to deal with that kind of damage again any time soon.  Smoke makes things work. When the smoke gets out, it stops! |
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mikeb Senior Member Joined: 10/04/2016 Location: AustraliaPosts: 174 |
Hi Grogs, If you consider your previous post sexist check out this link. Can't imagine anyone getting away with this these days. The Good Wife There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't. |
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| Phil23 Guru Joined: 27/03/2016 Location: AustraliaPosts: 1667 |
Note:- Mother-Inlaw 1.0 often opens a back door for Divorce 1.0, which subsequently leads to multiple instances of Ransomware. Even when Wife 1.0 is completely uninstalled, Wife 2.0 can still be faced with multiple issues related to Wife 1.0 even if installed on new hardware. Wife 1.0 can still place drains on recourses. |
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| Grogster Admin Group Joined: 31/12/2012 Location: New ZealandPosts: 9610 |
@ mikeb - that must be fake surely!  @ Phil23 - Nice follow-up! Smoke makes things work. When the smoke gets out, it stops! |
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| mikeb Senior Member Joined: 10/04/2016 Location: AustraliaPosts: 174 |
No. It was actually out of a women's magazine of the times. I've actually seen the magazine, although it has been posted on the 'World Wide Wait' many times. I've also seen something similar, aimed at 16 year old girls, to prepare them for married life. Haven't times changed. Personally, I think for the better !!!! BTW That first post of yours made me laugh. There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't. |
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| piclover Senior Member Joined: 14/06/2015 Location: FrancePosts: 134 |
If only debugging Wife v1.0 was as easy as debugging any other software... But the original coder (I would blame God here, but I'm an atheist) forgot to comment their code... Anyway, this thread was the cause of a good (and loud) laugh for me. :-D |
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| CaptainBoing Guru Joined: 07/09/2016 Location: United KingdomPosts: 2170 |
@Mikeb Cheers for that - showed it to Mrs boing and told her where she is going wrong. Everything is fine, I expect to be back on solids in a day or two. |
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| mikeb Senior Member Joined: 10/04/2016 Location: AustraliaPosts: 174 |
@CaptiainBoing, Do you like living dangerously or do you just enjoy Mrs looking at you with sheer contempt ?  PS Don't go near her with a roll of duct tape.  There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't. |
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| Paul_L Guru Joined: 03/03/2016 Location: United StatesPosts: 769 |
@Mikeb I showed that to my XYL. She laughed and said she thought it sounded nice. She remembers washing dishes by hand and not having a microwave oven. She has been a CPA for 45 years and used to run a tax department in a major NYC accounting firm until she had a stroke and was forced to retire suddenly. She thinks women had a better deal when they could expect their husbands to get the heck out of the house every day and bring in a good income. If they planned their day efficiently she thinks they could have a relaxing few hours to soak in a tub and do their nails while the kids were at school. She finds the idea of putting on her face and waiting for me to come home is somewhat appealing. She thinks that giving me a plate of yesterday's meat loaf would not be very onerous. She sounds a little wistful that she spent so many years on her professional development, fancy clothes and NYC quick lunches and so little time at home building a close family relationship. To each his own I guess. Paul in NY |
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